The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else.


John Gottman is one of the most well known researchers and authors on marriage. The book was originally published in 1999 and has been updated through the years with the most current and up-to-date research done by John Gottman’s team and research institute. Based on years of research and counseling, this book has impacted the lives of individuals for over 20 years.

Gottman attempts to pull back the curtain to explain how his research is done as well as how he is able to use that research to predict and encourage how a couple will interact and fair in marriage. Explaining how he has created the seven principles based on his research that he has spent decades collecting and interpreting sets up the remainder of the book and his seven principles.

The technique that Gottman uses is unique in that he does not simply give you a list of do’s and don’ts but he provides principles that must be adjusted to your marriage. This is not a list of homework assignments but are concepts that should be personalized to your particular marriage. Gottman does a great job explaining a concept and offering a variety of scenarios that show how a concept might look vastly different in marriages.

While this book will not guarantee marital satisfaction and success it will be helpful for anyone who desires to work on their marriage. These concepts are not earth shattering but they are written in a way that makes working on them possible. An average marriage that takes these concepts and puts them into practice would likely improve in quality and intimacy.

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